To Do Or Not To Do…
Well that is the question—are you a doer or an undoer? A few posts back I wrote about being a Helicopter parent. You know, the parent that gets involved when teachers and professors say that they should not. Well there are two sides to everything, and being a parent, I will usually be found on the side of my kid. In saying this, I do understand that kids need to learn to function for themselves and I take every opportunity to teach my kids how to do this. One such lesson happened recently with my daughter at college.
Now, when I was in college, oh so long ago, the student was often treated as the lowest thing on earth. Although I had some excellent professors, I was shown my place very quickly. All it usually took was a visit to the Bursars office or a complication when registering for class. I knew nothing, got nothing and deserved nothing. You could say it left me with a somewhat negative view of those in charge. But, there were a few times when I came across that person that truly wanted to help. That proverbial “ray of sunshine” – the person who could get me where I needed to be by a simple signature or phone call. Someone who actually cares..a doer.
They are rare, but they are out there, these doers, and somehow my faith in humanity is restored when I encounter them. My daughter is new at this and still a bit naïve I think to expect help from a Chairman’s secretary. After all, she just needed a signature to approve the class. Little did she know the web in which she was about to become entangled was woven by “undoers”. She was exasperated to find that such a simple need could become so complicated. Yes darling, these undoers are crafty, they put obstacles where you least expect them.
When she called me, angry and very upset, I was not surprised at her dilemma. We encounter them daily I told her, at the Bank, on the phone, at the Pharmacy, and my most dreaded of “undoers” –those at the DMV. These undoers are a part of every day grown-up life. Fortunately, there are two kinds of people in our world, the undoers and doers. I explained this life lesson to my distraught child over the phone. I told her, you have to find a way around the undoer, you need to find someone or some way to accomplish your goal despite the roadblock that you have encountered. Gee sounds like one of those video games my kids play!
Sure, I could have probably made a few phone calls and fixed the problem. To be totally honest, I really think some re-training on student rapport would be very beneficial for many of these college offices, and I would be happy to explain my thoughts on that subject, but I doubt they would really care. After all, when you get right down to it, it is the students (or their parents) who are essentially paying the paychecks of the professors and staff, and just like that Dangerfield guy, they deserve a little respect. Yes Helicopter Mom could have flew in to “save the day” — but this time, I chose to let my daughter handle the problem, with a little guidance from Mom of course. I am happy to say she dealt with it, the problem was ultimately resolved and she will be able to register for her class—thanks to a very caring professor. My daughter found a doer! Faith in humanity is restored once again!